Kink for Beginners: 5 Tips for Getting Started
It’s finally springtime. In honor of the changing season, this is the perfect time to shake off the winter chills and reawaken your play…with kink!
***Please remember that many kinds of kinky play have inherent risks, so educating yourself about safety, practicing negotiation/communication, and receiving continuous consent from partners is critical!***
The term “kink” is a bit subjective, referring to any kind of play that “bends” (get it?) from usual activities. It encompasses many different kinds of play, including power dynamics, spanking, and restraints–and just about anything else you can dream up and execute consensually!
How to get started with kinky play:
1. Use a blindfold
For folks with vision, taking away a sense so heavily relied on in our day-to-day lives can be a game-changer for getting back into our bodies and *feeling more*. Not being able to see what’s happening heightens our other senses, especially making touch feel extra sensitive. Putting a blindfold on your partner can also help you to feel more bold trying new things–no chance they’ll see you stumbling to find the right words or figuring out what to do next!
- Put on a blindfold, letting your partner surprise you with their touch. Use cold, warm, hard, and soft items (like a feather tickler) for a sensation switch-up.
- Trying wearing a blindfold while going down on your partner. Enjoy how their body feels, tastes, and responds.
2. Tie it up
Restricting movements is a fun way to explore power dynamics, making this not only a physical kinky experience, but a psychological one too.
- Use scarves, bathrobe ties, handcuffs, or super secret restraints systems to explore what it’s like to be out of–or given–control.
- Combine restraints with a blindfold for even more fun!
3. Try an arousal gel
Make the clit extra sensitive with a stimulating product. Rub in a small amount, then wait a couple moments, until the tingly/buzzy/hot & cold sensations begin.
- Our favorite arousal gels are the Sensuva ON Original and the Dame Arousal Serum). Ingredients like peppermint oil, capsicum, ginger, and horny goat weed can support our bodies in bringing extra blood to sensitive body parts (and extra blood = extra sensation!)
- For bonus fun, use a vibrator on the clit and explore vibration with an extra twist.
4. Give a little smack
“Impact play” is exactly what it sounds like - think smacking, hitting, flogging, and spanking! This kind of play can can be incredibly arousing and intimate, especially for folks who get off on a little (or a lot) of pain. What would be uncomfortable or inappropriate in a different context can be highly erotic in a sexual setting. Spanking is a classic example for a reason - getting the blood flowing to booty cheeks from repeated smacking can really get folks worked up.Try it:
- Floggers are great for people interested in exploring impact because they offer a uniquely stingy, thuddy kind of sensation and can also be dragged along the skin for shiver-inducing touch.
- Looking for something more simple? Trying a paddle–or even a kitchen spatula!
- Make sure you’re only enjoying this kind of play on parts of the body that are better at handling impact. The butt cheeks are a perfect example: they’re muscly and have lots of protective squish. Avoid hitting joints, bones, anywhere on the spine, and anywhere on the head or neck.
5. Play with areas outside your normal routine
For folks of all genders and sexes, nipples can be an extremely sensitive and arousing place to be touched.
- Not usually into nipple play? Try adding nipple clamps or a tingly nipple gel to encourage blood flow. Experiment with licking, sucking, twisting, tugging, and grazing.
Take this change of season as a cue to reawaken your senses and go exploring. Adventure awaits!