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Best Strap-On Tips for Beginners: A Full Guide to Strap-Ons

Best Strap-On Tips for Beginners: A Full Guide to Strap-Ons

Alright cuties, let’s get into it: today we’re talking strap-ons! We’re going through everything you need to know about using strap-ons during sex, including what strap-ons & harnesses even are, the different styles you can choose from, what materials to look out for, and more of our best strap-on tips for beginners. 

So if you’ve ever wondered how the hell to find the right strap-on for you and how to incorporate them into your sex life, you’ve come to the right place: now strap in for the ride! (pun absolutely intended)


Strap-On/Harness 101

What is a strap-on?

A strap-on (or strap, strap harness, harness) is an umbrella term for the equipment used to attach any sort of dildo-esque object to someone’s body. 

Strap-ons usually involve two parts: the harness and the toy itself. 


What is a harness?

A harness is simply what holds the toy in place!

Harnesses come in a plethora of options: in fact here at WinkWink, we carry six waist harnesses that attach a toy to someone’s pubic bone area, and two different thigh harnesses that attach toys to thighs for riding, grinding, and knee-fucking! Hand and mouth harnesses are also on the market. The possibilities for where on your body you secure a toy to pleasure someone else with are really open, thanks to the creativity and  general horniness of humanity.

Now when it comes to waist harnesses, they generally come in two different iterations: strappy and brief!


Strappy harnesses:

This kind of harness is the one often portrayed in media depictions of strap-ons. Strappy harnesses consist of a waist strap and either g-string style between the cheeks *or* straps around the buttcheeks/upper thighs. One of our all-time favorite strappy harnesses is this bike tube waist harness created by a woman-owned & Washington-based business that we love!


Pros:

  • Easy to adjust for different body sizes & cinch down/loosen in a heated moment
  • Usually have interchangeable O-rings (the part that holds the dildo – perfect for using many different sizes of toys!)
  • Leaves the wearer’s genitals exposed for easy access
  • Comes in a variety of materials from leather to recycled bike tubes

Cons:

  • Often more complex to clean
  • Can slip or chafe
  • Harder to wear under clothes undetected


Brief harnesses:

This kind of harness fits more like a pair of underwear, somewhere between boxer-briefs and tighty-whities. They also have an o-ring situated right on the mons pubis area. Our favorite brief harness that we sell at WinkWink is the uber-comfortable yet super sexy Rodeoh Jock Harness!


Pros:

  • Easy to clean (just throw them in the wash!)
  • Can cover the wearer’s genitals (may be preferable because of dysphoria, aesthetic, or comfort needs)
  • Can be easily worn under clothes
  • Some have a pocket to stash a bullet vibrator for the wearer to enjoy
  • Some also have a pocket so they can be used for packing
  • Usually very comfortable to wear

Cons:

  • Not size adjustable (can’t share with a partner if you aren’t the same size)
  • O-ring not removable/interchangeable
  • No easy access to the wearer’s genitals

The bottom (hehe) line is that strap-on harnesses should be comfortable to wear and make you feel sexy and aesthetically affirmed. Yeehaw!



Let’s Talk About Dildos

Dildos, dongs, insertables, oh my! Here I’ll use the word dildo to describe toys that are designed for penetration and fit for use with harnesses.

Picking a dildo can be quite the undertaking! Sometimes it feels fun, but here at WinkWink we often talk to customers who feel overwhelmed at the number of options. 

Here are some things to keep in mind when you’re choosing your dil!

  • Material
  • Texture
  • Aesthetic
  • Color
  • Length
  • Girth
  • Realistic/non-realistic
  • Gender feelings when worn
  •  

    Ideally, the wearer of the harness and dildo chooses the look or aesthetic of the toy, while the person who will be receiving the dildo chooses size, texture and material.

    It’s super important to note that any dildo or toy that is going to be used inside someone’s body needs to be non-porous, fully cleanable. And if it’s going to be used for booty play, there must be a flared base to keep the toy from getting lost up there. 

    Luckily for you, at WinkWink we only stock toys that are made of body safe materials, so any toys you get from us are going to be a-okay to have on your skin. Also, for a dildo to be harness compatible, it needs to have a flared base to anchor the toy in the harness with! All toys linked in this article fit this description.

     

    What material is best for dildos?

    Dildos are most commonly made of silicone, which is a body safe polymer. The great thing about silicone is that it can be made in a variety of densities - so you can have a silicone dildo like the Fun Factory Amor that is extremely firm, or the Dildolls Fantasia that is super soft and bendable. 

    You can also have a dildo that looks and feels super realistic – the VixSkin Tex is a great example of this, or something utterly non-realistic that looks like it might belong to a mythical creature - see the BMS Unicorn.  


    What’s the best dildo for beginners?

    Because dildos come in so many sizes, considering your level of experience with penetration can be an important thing to consider when choosing a toy. 

    If you know you want something large and girthy, go for it! 

    If you’re just starting off and want to experiment with smaller sizes a bit, the Twist Kit is a great way to try three sizes at once. 

    Choosing a softer dildo if you’re new to penetration is a smart idea, since the softness allows for more give if your muscles tense up around the toy. 


    Can you use lube on dildos?

    When it comes to using lube on dildos, you want to be super careful to only use lube that is compatible with the specific dildo you’re using.

    There are four main types of lube: oil-based, water-based, silicone-based, and hybrid. Each type has its own benefits & best uses, which you can learn more about in our Lube 101 article!

    Do NOT use silicone-based lube for silicone toys – as much as it may sound like they’re compatible, they’re not! Opt for a water-based lube instead, as this type of slippery, juicy lube is comfortable with all materials. 

    One of our favorite lubes to use with silicone toys is the Sensuva Erosense Sync Hybrid lube, a hybrid formula lube that is silky smooth and sure to last you plenty of time! It actually has 15% more velvety silicone than other hybrid lubes, but is still compatible with silicone toys.


    All About Strapless Strap-Ons

    These sexy things deserve their own category, okay? 

    Strapless strap-ons are one fluid piece of silicone that has an internal bulb, meant to be held inside the vagina or the anus using the wearer’s pelvic floor muscles, and a penetrating/dildo-like end that sticks out from the front of the wearer’s body to penetrate a partner. These are an uber-sexy way to share penetration and pleasure simultaneously with a partner. At WinkWink we sell this rad Estella Strapless Strap-On Dildo by Temptasia, which offers dual stimulation AND even has a spot to attach a bullet vibe!


    Our Favorite Strap-On Related Products & Accessories

    Yes, there are even MORE ways to have fun with strap-ons: it’s time to accessorize, baby! 

    Here are a few of our favorite strap-on related products & accessories that we def recommend you check out next time you go toy shopping:


    BumpHer/Shagger: these are textured silicone sleeves that fit over the base of dildos to offer squish and stimulation for the harness wearer. Snuggle them up into pussy lips for yummy pressure, or use them to help avoid the dreaded pelvic bone bruise!


    O-Ring Set: customize the o-ring on your harness with this set of metal o-rings.


    Stabilizer Base: if your dildo is struggling to stay up in its harness, try a foam stabilizer base!  Perfect for toys that are heavy and need more support, or toys with super small bases (too small to stay in the o-ring of a harness).


    Finally, adding a bullet vibrator like the WeVibe Tango into a harness pocket, or using a hands-free toy like the Dame Eva II is a sexy way to add pleasure for the harness-wearer.


    How to Pick a Strap-On For Beginners: A Recap

    Now that you’re a total strap-on pro and know what you need to take into consideration when picking the right strap-on for you, here’s a quick recap of exactly how to pick your perfect strap-on! Write it down, screenshot it, do whatever you need to do so you can remember where to start the next time you go strap-on shoppin’.


    1. Pick a harness

    Remember, you can choose between briefs & strappy’s!

    2. Pick a dildo

    Be sure to pick one that’s harness-compatible, and don’t forget to grab a water-based lube if you want to add a fun, slippery element to a silicone dildo!

    3. Accessorize!

    O-rings, stabilizers, & bullet vibes – oh my! The list of ways you can totally customize your strap-on experience is endless.


    The Best Dildos & Harnesses For You

    Need help finding the right dildo & harness for you in a quick and easy way? Here are our favorite dildos & harnesses that we sell at WinkWink, based on the style, functionality, & experience you’re looking for!


    Dildos

    Best budget-friendly dildo: Temptasia Twist Small Dildo ($24.99 – currently out of stock) / Amor Silicone Dildo ($49.99)

    Best strapless strap-on dildo: Temptasia Estella Strapless Strap-On Dildo

    Best vibrating dildo: Lennox Hollow Vibrating Dildo


    Harnesses

    Best simple & functional harness: Inclusion Harness

    Best harness for all-day comfort: Rodeoh Jock Strap-On Harness

    Best recycled harness: Bike Tube Waist Harness

    Best waterproof harness: Joque Harness

    Best stretchy brief harness: Temptasia Strap-On Harness Briefs


    Final Strap-On Sex Tips & Notes

    And before we go, a few last strappy tips & notes from your friendly neighborhood strap-on enthusiasts here at WinkWink:

    1. Using dildos safely, like any other sexual act, requires enthusiastic and explicit consent, as well as clear communication. 
    2. People of all genders and all genitals can wear, use, and enjoy strap-on play. Straps are for everyone who wants them!
    3. It is up to all partners involved to check in with each other, and to keep it safe and sexy. 
    4. Using lube with dildos will make them slip and slide in and out much more easily, and is a requirement for any kind of anal penetration, since the anus isn’t self-lubricating like the vagina. 

     

    Go fuck each other <3 !!

    Xoxo,

    margs



    If you liked this article all about strap-ons, we know you’ll love the ones below, too!

    Sapphic Sex 101: What It Is, Safe Sex Tips, & Our Fave Toys

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    Kink for Beginners: 5 Tips for Getting Started